Self-Love Is Underrated.

If you had told me at the age of eleven or twelve that I would one day become a great fan of Justin Bieber, a two-time Grammy-winning artist with eight number-one hits and eight number-one albums, I would have likely laughed it off and not believed you. I thought he wasn’t for me… Little did I know that one day, I too would become a “Belieber.”

Today, I find myself reflecting on many of his lyrics, praising with an “Everything Hallelujah” and reminding myself that “unforgiveness keeps them in control.” Today’s insight stems from another of his profound lyrics, a lesson that sounds nice on the outside but is difficult to implement… “Baby, you should go and love yourself.”

Isn’t it strange that in an era in which we push for “self-love” so much, we simultaneously have what seems like the highest levels of depression, anxiety, and stress? We are more conscious of our mental health than ever before, but our minds are the unhealthiest they have ever been. I believe this stems from a primary issue: a misconception and accidental mix-up we have fallen into.

Taking care of others often feels “easier” than taking care of ourselves. Why? Because we don’t easily see our own value. While we are not entitled to anything, the fact that we are human, made in the image of the living God Himself, is evidence enough of an innate preciousness we carry. One we haven’t quite learned to nurture well.

On that note, Kahlil Gibran, a Lebanese-American writer, poet, and visual artist, once shared, “And God said, ‘Love your enemy your Enemy,’ and I obeyed and loved myself.” When I first heard this line, it hit me square in the chest. Too often, we think the world is against us, but more often than not, it turns out that we are our own worst enemy. We just shut the door on ourselves before we have given ourselves the chance to see what’s on the other side. We self-sabotage when things are going well. And most common of all, we ignore ourselves and our needs in the hopes of being virtuous, noble, or more likable. This is false goodness. A masquerade that covers up the real you for the sake of not offending another.

When I was 19, I read a book that significantly changed how I approach the world. Dr. Jordan Peterson’s book, 12 Rules for Life; while a heavy read, it packs a punch and stays with you long after you put it down. Although many of its learnings have stayed with me, Rule 2: “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping” has been a tremendous conduit to personal peace, as well as professional progression. It reframes self-love from something that seems ethereal to a tangible concept and one easy question: “If I were someone else, what would I guide them to do?” I have found this to be extremely impactful to how I live and choose to invest my time. It often means saying “No” to “Protect My Yes” or taking a moment to pause, smell theroses, and breathe.

It is worth remembering that what the world considers a waste of time in a hustle, go-go-go, hamster-wheel culture is arguably one of the great investments you can make into who you are becoming. This is a result of each game taking place on an entirely separate playing field than the other, with two separate sets of rules.

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The greater context of Justin Bieber’s song “Love Yourself” may not exactly be about the same type of love we discussed today, but ironically, I found it to be the perfect vessel for today’s lesson because of the direct and personal impact this specific song had on me when I was 17 years old.

In a season of profound grief, I ran away from my pain in countless ways: more friends, more work, more time doing something, anything that wasn’t sitting down to process the pain. But eventually, enough was enough, and I found myself, at my beautiful mother’s encouragement, needing to sit down and wrestle with this. God provided an unforeseen companion: the guitar. Guess what one of the first songs I learned was? “Love Yourself.” I would spend hours strumming, humming, and plucking away; some may argue this was not the most productive, and maybe they’re right, but it was healing. It was taking care of myself.

This week, I encourage us to consider what our lives would be like if we treated ourselves like someone we were responsible for helping. What would we tell ourselves if we were our best friend? Would you encourage them to take Sabbath, go for that walk, chase that dream? Would you tell them to be a little easier on themselves? Would you remind them how proud of them you are? Most of us would. Let’s practice doing these very things with ourselves.

• Making The Most Of Being Curious Daniel J. Cuesta

P.S. Ladies and gentlemen, if no one has said it to you before, or as of late, or perhaps you may need a reminder: You are beautiful, and you are loved.

Sources:

Human Value Is Innate: So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:27

**Remember To Take Care Of Your Own Vineyards (Love Yourself): **Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept! - Song of Solomon 1:6

Keep Your Day of Rest: Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. - Exodus 20:8

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