An estimated 80% of people fail their New Year's resolutions, reports TIME magazine.
Many of us get lost in the vision boards, journaling, and meditations and never get around to doing anything about it.
While I am a full-on proponent of radical optimism and only drinking from half-full glasses, realistically, neither you nor I, as demonstrated by prior unchecked to-do lists, are likely to stick to our New Year resolutions in three weeks' time unless something changes from our past attempts.
I've been wondering why it is that no matter how committed we are to an objective, mindset, or plan of action, when push comes to shove and things get tough (which they always do), we so quickly abandon our resolve.
January 1st, to many, is seen as this herald of a new era in which anything is possible. Losing weight, making gains, meeting more people, traveling often, reading books, learning to cook (etc), is now suddenly within reach.
All it takes is a new gym membership, canceling a few streaming subscriptions, and going to bed early.
Yet, it doesn't get done, and we are left wondering what we did “wrong” or what could have been done differently.
It turns out you didn't do anything “wrong”; you just tried doing too many things “right” simultaneously.
The goals aren't the problem. The amount of them is.
It takes focus to succeed, and focus requires eliminating and reducing distractions. We often don’t realize that good things can be misleading or diversions, too. Many times, I have found myself procrastinating on one good thing with another, both of them being beneficial but resulting in neither getting properly completed.
In the wise words of Mr. Han (Jakie Chan), my generation’s Mr. Miyagi:
“Your focus needs more focus.”
And that starts with Killing Your Darlings.
In the literature and editorial world, this phrase refers to eliminating the lines you have fallen in love with but add no plot development or acceleration to your manuscript.
It's letting go of those intelligent word plays, drawn-out and descriptive scenes, or unnecessary details and side quests that are entertaining but add no substance.
While this practice is difficult, it polishes the work, tidies it up, and properly sets it up for print. It leads to New York Times best sellers and Pulitzer Prizes. It removes the muddle and clears the way to the valuable work itself.
Our lives are books, too, and we all have our darlings. New Year is the perfect time for some cleaning and reassessment. You may have some darlings that need removal, at least for now, to better focus on the more fulfilling and long-lasting endeavors.
If this year's goals consist of more than three objectives, I would strongly encourage a reassessment of your true aim.
Starting a side hustle, losing weight, involving yourself in the community, enjoying a healthy sleep schedule, and so many other good things really are good things. But trying to be the best in each is made more difficult when you can't even get good at one.
Remember that “no,” for now, is not “no” forever, and these good things can be pursued in times to come after your primary objectives have been fulfilled.
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The “new you” is hiding behind too many targets, which leads to spreading yourself too thin.
We so quickly aim to improve ourselves and set January first as the perfect moment. We make lists and schedule our calendars. We clean the house, buy memberships, and make promises to ourselves. We only hope we can keep this up this year.
This year, don't fall into the same cycles. Be part of the 20%. Kill your darlings where and when necessary. As inspired by Mr.Han, prioritize and allow your focus to be more focused.
Write a life story you are proud of sharing with others and find yourself looking back on all the incredible things that were accomplished because you took a moment to go after what really mattered when it really mattered.
Be mindful of the urgent but prioritize the truly important. If it’s not a clear yes, consider the possibility that it could be a clear no.
- Making The Most Of Being Curious
Daniel J. Cuesta
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