Thank God For Gravity

Insight 66 | Ego Checks And Relationships (Stop Revving, You’re Wasting Gas)

Have you ever tried to draw attention to yourself in order to feel validated, signal status, or boost your ego? I know I have.

There are many ways, which would be too embarrassing to list, but a few worth noting include talking louder so others nearby who could hear me, acting like I know stuff about things I don’t, and burning through a gallon of gasoline to convince others I was a car guy when I most definitely am not. Yes, that's oddly specific (you’ll see why soon).

This, ladies and gentlemen, is where the beauty of Ego checks comes into play. If you are anything like me, you can testify that in the moment, they don’t feel too great. And yet the truth is, we should all be more grateful for them. 

See, these moments and the people who deliver them are a lot like gravity; if it weren't for them, we might get caught up in our own heads, waste our energy peacocking around, forget there's enough room in this life for all of us and lose sight of the real prize… all because we lost our footing in reality and weren't grounded in what truly matters by a force powerful enough to bring us back to earth.

There's something about the sound of a car’s engine that gets a guy going, and I would place a safe bet on saying most men have an innate need for speed. I tested this theory out for myself when I inherited my father's old 2007 Hyundai Elantra at the budding age of eighteen.

It wasn't much, but to me it was a treasure. The AC worked only half the time, the paint wasn't perfect (I may or may not have been the one to scratch it), and, arguably, worst of all, it had no Bluetooth features (I know, that’s horrendous). But again, I loved it and took pride in driving it wherever I went. Looking back, I realize I wasn't impressing anybody with it, especially when compared to a few of my friends who were true “car guys”, but I must confess that didn't stop me from trying. Picture it with me.

It was late on a summer Saturday night, and “the boys” and I had just wrapped up service at church. We had a tradition of going out to eat together afterward, so we set our GPSs to Paris Morning Bakery, which offered half-price baked goods after 9 pm. Since everyone had their own car, we decided to drive there in line. Leading the charge, I hopped into my sleek and sexy silver Hyundai and, with the windows down, the breeze in my hair, and my speakers blasting Shawn Mendes’ Senorita, I felt like I was on top of the world. 

A few minutes later, I pulled into the middle of the parking lot, leaving room on both sides of me for Caleb, my best friend, and Grayson, another good friend, to pull in on either side of me. Now here's where the fun part begins.

These two gentlemen are a part of the aforementioned “car guys,” and at the time, Caleb was driving a blue Subaru WRX, an absolute urban legend of a car, known for its all-wheel drive capabilities, engaging driving dynamics, and its history in the rally car world. Meanwhile, Grayson owned a white BMW, known for its superior road experience and potent performance capabilities. In other words, I was out-muscled.

But nooo, that didn’t stop me from joining in on the fun when these two gentlemen began to rev their motors and make a lot of noise while we waited for the others to arrive. I put the car in park and began to push down on the pedal in order to match the “vroom vroom” sounds they were making. Believe me when I tell you, it felt like I was straight out of a Fast and the Furious film. I was burning so much gas just sitting there, revving the engine, but it felt good to lean into the car's raw power and take in the engine's living vibrations all around me. 

When the others arrived and I stepped out to walk in, I was on cloud nine; Dominic Toretto had nothing on me. Most nonchalantly, I turn to Caleb and say, “What’d you think of that?” Pretty impressive, no? Caleb, so sincere and honest, as he always has been, responded, “What do you mean? Grayson and I revving?” and I go, 'yeah, I mean I was revving too … bro it sounded so cool,' and Caleb answers back,

“You were revving? Huh… wow, I couldn't hear a thing.”

I stopped dead in my tracks (literally) and stared at the man, my cheeks reddening as I felt myself become flustered. “What do you mean you didn't hear me? I was pressing that pedal so hard, the car was shaking.” 

Caleb just laughed, “That's too funny, man, I would have had no idea if you hadn't said anything, all I could hear was me and Grayson’s motors.”

I learned three important lessons that day.

1. Stop revving. Most people aren't really paying you mind, and you're only wasting gas when you do.

2. Your true friends take pride in who you are, the fact that you're present and working, not in how much “noise” you can make.

3. We should all be a little more grateful for Ego checks and those who deliver them. They keep us grounded when we’re floating off into space.

These are truths we should all be more aware of, as this “revving” attitude is something we often adopt in our lives when we want to impress others. In a moment, we become peacocks, strutting our stiff feathers and flaunting our accomplishments to seek praise for our vanity, as we try to gain the attention of others. But thank God for good friends and family, because they’re the kind of people who aren't afraid to call us out when we get a little too caught up in our heads about it. Contemplating this, I’ve realized we don’t give these moments and these people enough credit.

See, while it's not wrong to want to earn some praise where it's due, I believe this network of close people who aren't afraid to call us out when we need it is actually in place for a God-ordained reason. These individuals are our gravity. They are the ones who keep us grounded when the world around us is spinning, but are also the same people who bring us back to earth when pride blinds us. Without them (that force keeping us steady), we wouldn’t have the weight we need to push off and reach the stars!!! And isn't that one of the beauties of life, shooting for the stars?

Furthermore, when our egos get out of line, they become the enemy. They make us think that we constantly have to prove ourselves or that we must continually compete for the spotlight. That's an energy-draining bondage in itself. True freedom is found when we can learn to appreciate others' successes and merits, their gifts, and their blessings, allowing them to thrive without our fear of comparison.

Sure, being the talk of the town is appealing, but remember, even main characters aren’t in the spotlight the entire time… there's room for us all in this rendition of life. 

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All in all, I don’t think we truly comprehend just how important these relationships are in our lives, and I hope that today's newsletter will prompt you to take a moment to think about who these stabilizing figures are for you. Maybe give them a call, or shoot them a call of gratitude. Demonstrate your thankfulness for their bravery in the face of your ego. If you can’t think of anyone, then perhaps this is an invitation to find those kinds of people. 

Without them, we all float off into space, only to be suffocated by the lack of oxygen in the higher atmosphere. 

I pray we all realize we don’t need to impress anyone; our time will come in its own manner. Most of the time, we should instead focus on others, enjoy their success, and make room for them to shine and succeed. 

So, with that in mind, thank God for gravity; cheers to the forces that keep us grounded, level-headed, and focused when we so easily lose sight of what really matters. 

- Making The Most Of Being Curious

Daniel J. Cuesta

Sources:

We Are Never Too Great For Anything Or Anyone: If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct. - Galatians 6:3-5

Dangers Of Pride: Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. - Proverbs 16:18

Importance Of Thinking Of Yourself Properly: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment… - Romans 12:3

Honor Others, Be Humble Yourself, Strive In Love: 

• Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. - Philippians 2:3-4

• Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. - Romans 12:10