Authentic Competition.

Insight 87 | The words “brother” and “bother” differ by only one letter. Did you know that?

Although sometimes it does feel like a brother can be a bother (we’ve all been here), it’s that little “r” between the “b” and the “o” that entirely changes its meaning. 

But here’s the thing, perhaps those two words are more similar than we think. In its truest and most beneficial form,  relationships aren't supposed to be easy “all the time”; they are meant to be growth-inducing.

As the Proverb goes, As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

I'm unsure when we forgot that grinding away at our imperfections might hurt or that honing our skills may be a challenge of patience and repetition. If your circle isn’t making you a better person. It’s time for you to challenge them to grow with you rather than let them live on the sidelines with conformity.

A few months ago, I found myself a bit annoyed when texting with a good friend of mine. He had just finished running ten miles and was telling me about how amazing it had felt. Of course, I congratulated him on this incredible accomplishment, encouraged him to keep going, and told him how proud I was. 

At the same time, I felt this small, creeping sensation of jealousy come over me. I couldn't help but think to myself, “running is my thing” and “oh, what a copycat”. I would later reflect on these thoughts and admit that it was my ego and pride that were driving this kind of thinking, but in that moment, I felt like he had suddenly become a silent rival. My understanding and perception of him shifted from that of a friend to a competitor, someone I suddenly found myself against and fighting to beat.

Naturally, I did the logical thing and proceeded to prove I was the superior runner by “also” going on a ten-mile run that very weekend and making sure I did so at a faster pace than he had. While it may not have been the healthiest of motivations, it certainly did spur me into action.

This did two things. First, it made me get back outside more, which was a literal breath of fresh air that my body benefited from. And secondly, it gave me a new goal to act as fuel in my pursuit of health and fitness. And while I can admit these two items are net positive, I strongly disliked the reasons behind them. Was it really necessary to view this man as an adversary in order for me to be motivated to exercise? What did our friendship mean when removed from the realm of the things we were competing in? 

While I wrestled with these feelings, that very same week, a crazy thing happened – I stumbled across a video explaining the etymology of the word 'competition', and my understanding of the concept was turned upside down. 

Etymology is the study of a word and its origin, meanings, spelling, and roots. Much like last week's dive into the genesis of amateur, I was surprised by what I learned about the TRUE meaning of the term 'competition'.

As it happens, if you scroll down to the Etymology section on Merriam-Webster's page for the word compete, you’ll notice that it is derived from the Late Latin competere, which means “to seek together.” Taking that back a step further, we learn that competere comes from other Latin phrases meaning “to come together, agree, be suitable”. Interestingly, this is a compound expression formed from “com + petere,” which breaks down into the phrases “to go to” and “seek.”

Did you catch that? I was blown away by this discovery.

Competition, in its original sense, has absolutely no hints of rivalry or adversarial language. No, it's actually much simpler and wholesome than that. To compete really means to “strive together”! To aim at something with someone else. To somehow come side by side and progress towards a shared goal or interest. That's right, a competitor is someone with whom you are hand in hand working to reach a goal. It's those that run alongside you, ON THE SAME TEAM! Now isn’t that fascinating? 

Our society's typical understanding of the word is much like the original feelings I had towards my friend when he mentioned his new running habit… one of rivalistic thinking. But Authentic Competition is more like playing a game in which everybody is working alongside one another to win. I know that sounds crazy in such a capitalistic, dog-eat-dog world, but everyone can truly benefit from pushing each other to their best. A good example of this, ironically, involves the organized sport of long-distance running, more commonly known as cross-country.

I’ll never forget it, the words Coach Sherrod said when welcoming the newest team members and their parents to a sport that would go on to change our lives. I was in the sixth grade, but what this man said next has stuck with me ever since. He goes, “If you are here for the glory, or the deals, or the fame, you're in the wrong sport. Cross country isn't about you, it’s about the team, the people beside you, and together what you accomplish.”

Recalling this memory, I realized that right there is the best distillation of the essence of Authentic Competition. We truly are only as strong as our weakest link. Equipped with this new understanding, I realized my friend and I were indeed “Competitors,” but we were by no means foes. We were both on a similar track, with similar goals, but we were there to lift one another up, reciprocally, to “strive together with,” not against.

This is the act of iron sharpening iron. And yes, sometimes it's uncomfortable, perhaps even painful. But it is this communal striving that molds us into the vessels God would like us to become.

---

Friendship is a topic I keep returning to, for many reasons. But chief among them is that the journey doesn't happen on its own. The people you do it with will radically shape and mold how life happens to you and how you happen to it.

After all, “Those who walk with the wise, become wise, but a companion of fools suffers for it” - Proverbs 13:20

Together, we are indeed made stronger. We are called to uplift our circles and mutually motivate one another unto the greater good of God's calling.  We are not called to be enemies, but we do have permission and are actually encouraged to, at times, be authentic competitors. 

I encourage you this week to reassess who you are in competition with (not against) and whether you have been properly framing how you approach that relationship. Remember, these individuals are not our adversaries but rather our teammates with whom we work cooperatively to fulfill the Lord's Will.

May the odds be ever in your favor 🥂

- Making The Most Of Being Curious

Daniel J. Cuesta

Sources:

Growth, Together: As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. - Proverbs 27:17

Mutual Motivation Towards The Greater Good: And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, - Hebrews 10:24

Who You Do Life Matters: Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. -Proverbs 13:20

Life Is Done Together, Not Against: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. - Ecclesiastes 4:9–10