Stop “Only” Learning From Your Mistakes… start learning from those of other people, too.
Don’t get me wrong; learning from your mistakes is vital to growth and improvement, but it seems our culture is “encouraging mistakes” in order for that learning process to take place.
Countless times, especially in recent years, well-meaning individuals have told the following generations to “live it up,” “discover ourselves,” and “live fast” (things generations before them likely told them), encouraging us to “make mistakes” when there is relatively little at stake and not to worry if we mess up along the way.
As a consequence, many of us begin to confuse progress as a process of falling down in order to get back up—a road of stumbling filled with stones and scraped knees.
When we do manage to pick ourselves up, we’re a bit bruised and battered, but we banter ourselves into believing we are better for it and have “learned our lesson”—only to find ourselves more prone to that same mistake a week later.
The thing is, that is only “one” way to get from point A to point B, and while it certainly seems to be the most popular (maybe that is why so many make it their motto) it it certainly not the best nor the most efficient.
We should ask ourselves why we subscribe to this half-hearted drunken walk, which is much more painful in the long run when we could learn those very same lessons without paying that price and all its interest.
It’s almost like waking up every day and looking forward to a brain freeze.
We’ve all been there, a perfectly ice-cold drink ruined when we momentarily incapacitate ourselves by the very thing that was supposed to make it so special.
Similarly, we do this to ourselves when we confuse “making a mistake” with “gaining wisdom.” The value is in absorbing the lesson, not in overloading our system and hurting ourselves in the process.
This parallels deliberately sipping too fast to enjoy our smoothie. That doesn't make much sense, does it? Why do we give ourselves brain freezes and then excuse them away as “part of the process”? That refreshing taste isn't going away, and you certainly will be enjoying it more than your friend who is holding his hand to his head and rubbing his temples to warm it up.
An exercise to try for this week and something that has revolutionized decisions made in my own life is to find areas or places in which you can “borrow someone else's map.” This proverb communicates the understanding that many others before you have walked a similar road to the one you are on now, and they have the very roadmaps that will enable you to avoid the obstacles that hindered them.
Being human is something we all share; our failings and falls are natural but not defining. The getting back up, the discipline, and our unmatched tenacity is what allow us to keep getting better and yet it is the “willingness” to learn from others mistakes that really has the capacity to improve us and bring us closer to wisdom.
Is learning from others' mistakes a part of your mindset? If not, you should consider it.
It is because these characteristics are human, that the lessons that flourish in these hard times can be learned by everyone regardless of whether they have had that first hand experience themselves.
Stop being “okay” with making mistakes because you hope to learn from them. If you do make a few, that's alright; get back up, but consider reframing your methods to learn from others' mistakes and borrow the map they have used to get to the kind of life you want to live.
Avoid the brain freeze.
To check out other articles talking about a few of the nuances of life, words from “inside the room where it happens,” or good ole Homegrown wisdom, check out my website and newsletter at DanielCuesta007.com
- Making The Most Of Being Curious
Daniel Cuesta
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