The Power Of Selective Yapping

Insight 53 | Estimates vary, but did you know the average person speaks anywhere between 7,000 and 20,000 words a day, depending on gender.

Taking the lower range and accounting for just how many people there are on this planet, that's an extremely rough estimate of fifty-six trillion words spoken every twenty-four hours. And let us be real, most of them, to most people, sound just like Charlie Brown's teacher:

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.

But no wonder, when the majority of us spend our days talking about nothing with absolutely everybody. The results are in, and they speak for themselves. Many of us are Division One talkers, and this poses a danger to us if we are not careful.

This is where the Power Of Selective Yapping Comes In.

See, the fact that we talk a lot is not the problem in itself; that's the manner in which we communicate and converse. It's natural and can be uplifting. The serious issue here is what we are discussing and with whom we are discussing it. 

In an age where most people are constantly sharing their thoughts on social media, it is crucial to learn how to tailor our words to our audience. It is essential to distinguish what is worth discussing and with whom it should be discussed. This is better known as Discernment.

This awareness and practice benefit us in two primary ways:

1. Prevents us from digging ourselves into holes that we will later struggle to climb out of.

2. Provides a special dignity and power to our words when we do choose to speak.

For example, let's say you're having a bad day and someone is asking you how you are feeling. Would this be a good moment to engage in a soliloquy? To verbalize how little sleep you got, how someone's gotten on your nerves, why you were late that morning? Likely no, because by the time you get to the end of this tirade, the other person will have probably regretted asking.

The above scenario, though, is very dependent on who's on the other side of your words as well as the situation at hand. If it's your boss, this is perhaps too much detail, a co-worker, also unnecessary specifications, but if it's a friend or loved one, then maybe you can give a little more. 

It is important to note that the truth should always triumph, and that Honesty is indeed the best policy, but because of this, the focus here is on your degree of “transparency,” not your degree of “honesty”.

Learning how to do this well and implementing it in your life will prevent you from merely creating empty speech and will also save you from talking without taking action, otherwise known as the popular practice of venting. It's similar to yapping but carries a greater emotional weight.

According to the Psychological Partners Group, research suggests venting could actually be harmful to your mental health, and the American Heart Association notes this stampede of words can easily be counterproductive if not done correctly. There are two main reasons that cause this:

One, venting is typically defined by a lot of “talking” and mostly no “doing” because speech without action only frustrates. 

And two, monologues easily become boring and place a serious social stressor on the relationships of the individuals listening.

That's why it's so important to discern what level of transparency is required to deliver the proper degree of truth, all the while being aware and intentional of whom we share it with. This is the ability to determine who we can trust and who is best left on the sidelines. In other words, being selective about what you yap about and with whom. 

There is a right moment to speak and a right moment to stay silent. 

See, not every meal you eat, gym selfie you take, or exotic place you visit needs to be posted and shared. Not everyone deserves to know everything, and that's ok.  This is the power of selective yapping. This is the mighty force of discernment in your speech and actions.

We should have the capacity to distinguish what measure of truth is called for in each moment of our lives. This is not an encouragement to engage in omission, but instead to have peace in not telling “everyone”, “everything”.

Know that if you are more intentional in your speech, when you do talk, others will uphold your words with greater value because they know, deep inside, they are purposeful and thought out.

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In an era where everybody won't stop talking, knowing what to say and when to say it will:

1. Protect your soul and your mind from yourself.

2. Give your words a greater impact when you do speak.

Cheers to speaking with more purpose, listening with genuine intention, and saying the right thing at the right time in the right way to the right people.

- Making The Most Of Being Curious

Daniel J. Cuesta

Sources:

Power Of Good And Proper Speech: A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. - Proverbs 25:11

Guard Your Tongue = Guarding Yourself: Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. - Proverbs 21:23 

Speaking With Purpose: To make an apt answer is a joy to a man, and a word in season, how good it is! - Proverbs 15:23 

Discernment In Speech: 

• ...a time to keep silence, and a time to speak. - Ecclesiastes 3:7 

• Whoever restrains his words has knowledge... Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise. - Proverbs 17:27-28

World Population: Link

Word Estimate Article: Link

Psychology Partners Group: Link 

American Heart Association: Link