Character Speaks Before You Do

Insight 106

“The name’s Bond… James Bond.” 🍸

These six words are uniquely iconic, representing one of the most refined men to ever be portrayed on the cinema screen. With his attention to detail, his graceful poise under pressure, and, of course, his Vesper Martinis (shaken, not stirred), 007 has, in many ways, represented a man who carries himself with purpose.

While fictional and flawed, I have strong reason to believe he serves as a useful template for further developing an idea we have touched on before: Your Character.

We generally focus on the cars, the clothes, or the currency but we all “know” it’s not what makes someone respectable, but that leaves the question “what does? We have discussed related elements before, touching on the importance of reputation and how “others” see you, but today we’re going to dive a bit deeper: how you carry yourself, no matter who is around.

Here’s what I’ve noticed about Bond. He is always a dignified individual, regardless of the time of day or the place he finds himself in. He carries himself with intention and reinforces the man he wants to be. I believe we can be the same. Not necessarily government operatives executing multilevel plans to save the country, but surely people who are respectful, self-controlled, and gracious, independent of social status or wealth.

While there is no unified consensus or scientific study on its secrets, when you stop to consider those who have left an impression on you, a few specific patterns emerge. Composed individuals are the souls who strive to remember names and never show up empty-handed. They share the spotlight and do not gossip. They are kind, and they are compassionate. They are as genuine in public as behind closed doors. These are those who, even if you only meet briefly, make YOU feel like the most important person in the world.

Four core tenets explain these behaviors well and define what it means to have a true good Character:

• Empathy & Respect: Treating each other with kindness and dignity, regardless of social standing or who’s watching.

• Self-Control: Remaining calm and nimble during moments of conflict or embarrassing situations.

• Humility: Possessing confidence without the need to show off or brag, avoiding arrogance.

• Self-Respect: Presenting yourself suitably and taking responsibility for your actions and their impact on others.

These actions are not over-the-top or attention-seeking. They are rather subtle and quiet. This is where their secret lies. Because these ideas are so ordinary and seemingly obvious, most of us ignore them until they cost us. When we are not deliberately making an effort to show up each day with purpose, we revert to our easy, selfish behaviors and tendencies.

In a world that is so mediocre, being the ones who take time to show up with thought and intention not only makes the world a better place but simultaneously distinguishes us from the masses as individuals who can be trusted with responsibility and opportunity.

This naturally leads to a stunning reputation, but note it doesn’t start there; it builds towards it. It’s a combination of high character, emotional intelligence, and grace under pressure, fueled by integrity, that forms who you have promised yourself you want to be, before anyone else meets you.

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Ultimately, the reason this is so important is not because of what everyone else will think of you, though their impressions will only improve. It’s because, at the end of the day, your character is the one thing that will remain within your control. Life will have its way, but fundamentally, it comes down to realizing that it is either coming at you or from you. It’s this mindset that empowers us to make a difference where it matters.

This week, I challenge us to be a little more conscious of the story we are writing. Again, this is not in what you wear, drive, or buy, but is determined by how you think, behave, and treat others. Learn about the strangers whom you always see. Write (or text) a thank-you note to a friend, spouse, parent, or coworker. Hold the door. Choose to be patient when you would normally get flustered. Write a narrative you are proud to uphold.

While the world may remember what you accomplished, it will never forget how you made people feel (*Maya Angelou). And long after you leave, your character is what they will recall… That is what separates the extraordinary from the ordinary.

- Making The Most Of Being Curious.

Daniel J. Cuesta

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P.S. Perhaps you have noticed the Bond inspiration in my work before, the obvious nods being in both the Wednesdays Of Wisdom website URL, as well as the upper left corner of every week’s newsletter design. If you are curious as to why, beyond, of course, being an international spy with an incredible car and sense of style (what young guy wouldn’t think he is super cool, 😂). It’s because Bond has held a special place in my heart as a legend that my father and I, two action lovers, bonded over in my childhood. As I grow into adulthood, this is a memory I would like to forever carry with me.

Sources:

Character Over Appearance: But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.- 1 Samuel 16:7

Empathy & Respect For Others: Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. - Romans 12:10

Self-Control: Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. - Proverbs 16:32

Humility: He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? - Micah 6:8

Self-Respect & Integrity: Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. - Titus 2:7-8