There’s Treasure In Your Shipwrecks.

none of us want to become sunken ships
but every ship we sail needs to sink in the wave
before it can rise above it

You win some, and you learn some; we all know this. But nonetheless, we like to think we can have it all and then more. Life is quick to humble us.

And when it does, it leaves us with two choices. Either we move on, or we move forward. They might sound the same, but they’re the difference between a life of regret and one of joy even amidst the sorrow.

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I’m here to tell you something you may not have heard before: failing does not make you a failure. As humans, you and I both know perfection is impossible, so we must start by accepting that we are in for nasty weather; the seas will get tough, the sirens will sing their songs, and yes, sometimes our ships may start to sink.

Seasons come and go, and we can all think of a time when we felt defeated and abandoned. A moment in which we had given it all, and all was not enough. Heartbreak, heartache, or hardships. Grief, loss, or change. Fill in the blank with your pain. We all know what it’s like to have our ships sink. Some of us also know what it’s like to wreck. To be smashed to pieces, hit rock bottom, look in the mirror, and wonder where we went.

It is here, in this place, what some may call the valley of the shadow of death, where we are left with a single decision to make. Either we move on, or we move forward.

In the first, you pick up the pieces and try to rebuild what you can. You grab the glue and the tape, and strap the weight of it all to your back. You struggle at first, but you begin to hobble. Bit by bit, you regain your balance, and soon enough, you’re up and running again. Some might say you’ve changed, and the truth is you have. You’ve lost the pep in your step, but you get good at disguising your limp. You’ve learned to move on because you realized everyone else already has.

This was me for a long time, and perhaps another day I’ll write more about those memories. But for now, I’ll share the wise words that helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel when I thought this first option was the only way through. The words that became the permission I didn’t know I needed, the ones that made me realize there’s treasure in my shipwreck—if only I was willing to find it.

I wish I could tell you who it was, or even where it happened, but one day a stranger told me, “Daniel, you don’t have to move on if you don’t want to.”

I stood there silently. I blinked. And then I stood some more. “What do you mean?”

She continued, “All you have to do is decide to keep going.” Her eyes were soft and caring. “Let no one convince you that you need to ‘forget’ and ‘move on’ already. Do not lose the parts that you want and even should remember; carry those with you, and instead, with those in hand, try ‘moving forward’.

It was the first time in months that I felt like being broken was okay. Everyone around me kept trudging on, and I felt like I couldn’t. In that moment, though, relief washed over me, and I took my metaphorical first step. It was a baby one, but it was more progress than I’d made in months. Then I took another, and then another. Bit by bit, I decided to stop trying to move on and instead started moving forward anyway.

Suddenly, I understood that the difference between the two was choosing to remember despite the world trying to make you forget. By remembering, you honor the hurt, give it its place, thank it for its lessons, and decide to build anyway. When you need to, you take a page out of your pain and use it to fuel your purpose. And while the rest of the world goes on, you keep a small place in your heart for those moments, not because you feel like you need to, but because you realize you can’t help but do so. They’re a part of you, and they’re beautiful too.

I realized that if you’re going to carry something, if you’re going to strap a weight to your shoulders and hike up this mountain we call life, then why make it the burden of your pain when you could instead carry the lessons themselves while you leave the burden behind?

Is this easy? By no means. Does this take time? A lot of it. But remember that there is treasure in your shipwrecks once you start looking for it.

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Let the memories of these moments hurt you, then let them heal you; let them nibble, then nourish your soul. At times, they will remind you of the joy that once was and, at others, of the joy that one day will be again.

The you you meet at the bottom of a shipwreck is someone who is often hard to get to any other way; but they are a part of you, regardless.

Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.*

*Quote by Annette Funicello, American Singer and Actress.

P.S. I dearly love my father, a great man who taught me so much with his presence, his patience, and his willingness to always hear me. When life got tough, I remember he had this one saying: “Ahora sí le entró agua al bote,” or “Now water really got into the boat.”

Every time he said it, I could not help but laugh because, for some reason or another, it “always” seemed to me like water was coming into our boats… but somehow, someway, even so, we kept sailing. That’s a lesson I’ll always remember. Thank you, Papi.

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~ Wednesdays Of Wisdom ~

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